After commentary by publisher Riley P. Dog on the piece titled: “Henry The Sea Gull”, I felt compelled to fire off this one.
TO RILEY P. DOG, THE ISLAND MOON
For the record, I must bring something of the utmost importance to your attention, just in case something dreadful happens. You see, by the time International Falls, MN receives the hot dog in a box marked “Flammable” as you requested, Henry the sea-gull and I will be close to embarking on an offshore adventure. This is huge.
The southern flock has brought aboard three highly intelligent dolphins as “locators” to work amongst its crew on The Flammable Hotdog Project boat. The goal: find as many of the estimated 30 million pounds of “live” military bombs and chemical weapons that have been reflexively discarded and currently lying on the Gulf of Mexico sea bed, sell this valuable information to the U.S. government, one or all of the Gulf states or…to one of the many oil conglomerate and or chemical companies.
I must say, Henry is in “seventh heaven” at this precise moment and particularly driven by his latest brainstorm. Furthermore, he’s also convinced that these “groups” would much prefer to protect their interest and possibly a large portion of our population, then risk losing it all with one giant…snap. Additionally, he’s hopeful to secure the necessary funds through this masterful plan to save the planet no later than the end of the first quarter next year. The other creatures on staff are ecstatic about how well everything’s going however; I’m apprehensive and hold on to some serious reservation. I will not beat around the bush Riley and must express my concern that Henry is drinking entirely too much. He’s also flapping his beak around the island and seriously jeopardizing the entire quest; his thinking has skewed so “far to the left” from our original conversation on the beach last week that it may be too late to repair the damage. There is certainly division now, even amongst the higher power optimists in the community; our organization just cannot weather this kind of bad publicity and something must be done.
In short, Henry has created more risk than necessary. In any event, I did not sleep well last night. I had three very distressful nightmares and would appreciate consul from a well-known and trusted hotdog expert such as you before moving forward with this little “adventure” with flipper and the sea gulls. Let’s thrash this all about, shall we?